Bakheet al Anzi’s New Year Party

Two things to remember, every religion has superstitions about the good and bad things you do and in Islam you have the two angels sitting on your shoulders with note books.

You do not only earn brownie points during your life on Earth, your sins also get recorded by an angel. The angel on the right shoulder notes down your brownie points, and the one on your left makes notes of your sins.

They are always there…. with their notebooks.

The second thing to remember is that angels cannot enter a house where there is a dog.

This opens up a loophole…
As long as you are in a house with a dog your deeds do not get recorded….

Ps, you are also not allowed to celebrate new year…
But then… who’s to know?

Tomorrow is the big day

The American elections are tomorrow! Who will win? Obama or Romney?

Will the Zombie Survival Guide be the bestselling book of all times overnight, or do we get a few more years to prepare?

Will parkour become merely the next Olympic discipline or will the only survivors be the top traceurs? Have you upgraded your weapons stash?

Militant Atheism in easy to digest images

Enjoy:

 

 

 

 

Cthulhu-Carrot

Guess what I found in The Tarq’s big bag of carrots???

A Cthulhu Carrot!

I am going to sell it on E-bay! If you can get a couple of thousand dollars for a piece of toast with the face of Jesus, I could surely get a few dollars for a carrot which is an exact portrait of Cthulhu…

I’ve listed it, click here to watch (and bid) on my Cthulhu carrot!

Tarq and getting up in the morning

Is not always happening! I have a lot of pictures of the Tarq and me trying to get him up!

Sometimes I just give up. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

Eat more cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and bananas!

The latest on religious improvement: finally the Muslim clerics encourage the men to help out in the kitchen and cook and serve the women!

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.” The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve. He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.
Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

Islamically acceptable cucumber :

Islamically unacceptable cucumber:

Now if I was married to a Muslim I would change my diet, and refuse to eat anything else but Cucumber salad, cucumber sandwiches, carrot ”stamppot”, zucchini dishes, and bananas on yoghurt for dessert. All of which would have to be prepared for me by hubby…

On the other hand, if I was the husband I would only want to eat Cucumber salad, cucumber sandwiches, carrot ”stamppot”, zucchini dishes, and bananas on yoghurt for dessert, but I wouldn’t cut them up for my wife… you never know… maybe after dealing with all these sexually arousing vegetables there would be room for a second dessert…

21st of October: Armageddon!!!

You do remember the rapture don’t you? That was when all the good Christians were lifted off the Earth and we sinners were left.

Pity one doesn’t really notice the difference.

However, this month is it.
The final bit
Armageddon
The End

Note the date:

October 21

Now you might wonder what will cause the end and why it is on the 21st exactly?
Not quite sure
However….

the Q and I àre getting married on the 20th…..

Looking for a wedding dress

So I have been looking around for wedding dresses. If there’s a style I absolutely don’t want it’s the strapless-barbie-cake-wedding-dress.
Well guess what?
All wedding dresses are strapless-barbie-cake-wedding-dresses.
At first I wondered why, but I know why: it’s not fashion, it’s cheaper.
You need less material, obviously, but they are also much easier to fit.

And that’s not all, apparently you need a hairstylist who does this complicated hairdo, tiara, veil, make-up artist, bridal bouquet ànd throw-bouquet, bridesmaids bouquets, boutonnieres…

And apparently wedding dresses have to have beading, and tucks without function and a straight decolletage line which never looks good on a woman with more, ehm, ”bust”, not to mention the dreaded ”Monobosom”.

To get sleeves you quickly come to the ”Temple-ready” dresses, which I suppose are for Mormons? Which look as if they took a strapless dress, and added some lace or fabric on top and added some sleeves and they look distinctly meh as a result. Besides, those tacky bell shaped skirts combined fabric up to your neck and long sleeves look even worse!

So one could google ”modest wedding dress” which turns up hideous dresses, and strangely enough immodest dresses, and lots of religious dresses, and when I looked at this picture, one of the many Muslim modest bridal gowns,

a thought came up: ”What is the single most useless profession in the world?

Muslim bridal hairstylist!

Still thinking about what to wear though…

Dressage with an Arab horse

Is hopeless!

Here you see what happened when I came to visit my horse with wild plans of doing some serious training.

This horse is not awake!

And he never got any more awake…

He was still sleeping when  I left!!!!

Why Women can’t Drive!

Manal Al-Sharif is currently held in prison for the ”crime” of….

Driving a car!!!!!

Besides imprisonment and torture the further repercussions on her life could be severe! Manal is a professional woman, with a good job and a good salary. She is divorced and has a son. She is risking everything for the right to drive for herself and her fellow Saudi women.

Please support Manal by signing this petition!

So what are the official clerical reasons for this absurd gender based ban disabling women to drive their own cars and forcing them to be in Khalwa with unrelated foreign men?

• removal of hijab (face veil)
• loss of modesty in women
• women leaving their homes, driving around because they enjoy driving
• women rebelling, they may go out of the house and drive to place where they can find peace. As young men do, but young men are able to put up with more than women.
• driving is a cause for fitnah, immoral men will take advantage of her when she is in need of help
• When women drive it leads to overcrowding in the streets, or it deprives some young men of the opportunity to drive cars when they are more deserving of that.
• it will cause the fitnah to flourish, because women will buy a new car because it’s a new model or because they will be the first one to drive it.
• Women are too emotional to drive cars or deal with any problems they might encounter.
  Also, women’s hearts are too weak to survive the stress of driving a car.

They are all hilarious, especially the weak heart.

Women driving will deprive some young men of the opportunity to drive cars when they are more deserving of that.
Why?
Why would young men have more right to driving a car than a woman? Where does that come from? I’d say the person who really needs the car for something useful is the more ”deserving”.

And last but not least:
Women will buy a new car because it’s a new model or because they will be the first one to drive it.
Let’s have a look at the cars Saudi men buy:

Sorry but ”cars” are really more of a man-thing. Now there may be the odd woman here and there who will go further to get something flashy, but I don’t think the majority of women will outdo the majority of men in the utter bad taste demonstrated above.