Eat more cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and bananas!

7 12 2011

The latest on religious improvement: finally the Muslim clerics encourage the men to help out in the kitchen and cook and serve the women!

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.” The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve. He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.
Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

Islamically acceptable cucumber :

Islamically unacceptable cucumber:

Now if I was married to a Muslim I would change my diet, and refuse to eat anything else but Cucumber salad, cucumber sandwiches, carrot ”stamppot”, zucchini dishes, and bananas on yoghurt for dessert. All of which would have to be prepared for me by hubby…

On the other hand, if I was the husband I would only want to eat Cucumber salad, cucumber sandwiches, carrot ”stamppot”, zucchini dishes, and bananas on yoghurt for dessert, but I wouldn’t cut them up for my wife… you never know… maybe after dealing with all these sexually arousing vegetables there would be room for a second dessert…



9 responses

9 12 2011

I’ve seen a number of mosques that have a phallic shape. I even remember a Muslim woman making a joke about it one time. So maybe looking at certain mosques should be off limits as well.

9 12 2011

I think mosques with phallic attributes are definitely off-limits!

14 12 2011

i am a muslim and i tell you this
what you are sayying makes no sense
we all eat carrots but none of the girls i know ever think of sex just because they are eating carrots!!!!

14 12 2011

Hasan you are not reading right. I am not saying this, a Muslim scholar is saying this. I never think about sex when eating a carrot, but this Muslim scholar apparently is.
So don’t blame me on what a Muslim scholar is saying, blame the Muslim scholar.

19 12 2011

I know ur not sayying that
the think that makes no sense is what the sheikh(scholar) said
and by the way he is acting like a woman bathing by a river that shouts at a stranger (that is noticing her) just to tell him not to look at her cause she is naked(briefly like an idiot)

20 12 2011

By the way i asked about this scholar and i found two things:
first this same man said that a working woman can sukle her co-workers from her breast inorder that they become like her kids and she can behave the way she likes with them
second he is considered totally idiot from every one that heard about him here around me even scholars

20 12 2011

It’s not the same bloke, the cucumber bloke is from Egypt but living in Europe, the boob fatwa is from a very serious source in Saudi Arabia. Some people doubt whether the cucumber fatwa is real, but the boob fatwa is very serious indeed, and I think cannot be toppled as the ultimate of disgusting ridiculousness.

20 12 2011

Well, u keep talking about saudi arabia and if i have to talk about my self i dont relate to saudi arabia well every thing i care for their are 3:makaa almadina and the islamic history of good ppl but not bad ones
any way i as a muslim must never judge ppl as i feel toward them but by logical thinkhng
when the ppl i asked about the subject reminded me of the boobs fatwa 2 basic things came into my mind
first , if a woman sukle a new born child<1 until some of his body is grown cause of her milk then he become like her child but in the situation the men r already grown ups and sukled for only 1 time
second a man is not allowed to look at woman's boobs nor to touch them
i my self would never do that not because it is digusting but because i am not allowed to look at a womans body in a way that arrowses my lust(i even dont gaze at a veiled woman's face for a long time just not to feel attracted to her especially that i am still young for marrage now)
i guess that is away from the main subject but i had to say some thing about the boobs fatwa

8 01 2012
Scott Lahteine

Well of course! I mean, who has more insight into the sex-crazed minds of breeding-age women better than horny old clerics and pious Muslim scholars? They have after all spent countless hours alone in their cells contemplating the wicked acts women perform on themselves and each other in private. Once they get those burkhas and scarves off it’s pure carnality… The way they soap up one another’s nubile bodies, corrupted by Satan… turgid carrots, zucchinis, and turnips at the ready….

But seriously, these measures… the burkha… are they not just lazy substitutes for male cultural advancement and practiced self-control? This stuff only stunts development and enables the worst qualities in men.

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