Why God created pets

11 12 2008

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Naturally that is a retorical question, everybody with an ounce of intellect knows why God created pets.

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God created pets so we know what true honesty loyalty and devotion looks like.

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God created pets so we can experience true friendship

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God created pets so that we won’t be alone

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God created pets so we are kept warm

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God created pets so we will never be bored because we will have to spend our days getting rid of all the hairs

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Most of all, God has created pets to make us realise what we deserve in a human companion as well: somebody who doesn’t lie to us, somebody who is faithful to us, somebody who doesn’t forget us, somebody who keeps us warm, somebody who cares, somebody who will support us, somebody who will love us, no matter what.
Now I do realise it is too much to expect the same high level from a human, but something reasonably close is what I am still hoping for.
Everybody: in your search for a dreamrabbit, don’t settle for anything less!

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Use your Pet for Finding a Mate

31 07 2008

This post is inspired by a shocking news flash on American Bedu’s blog!
It seems that the misogynist anti-fun nutters in KSA have finally hit the mark:

”Basically the yahoo news-link advises that the Kingdom has placed a ban on selling cats or dogs as pets in pet shops because some men are using these pets to attract women.”

What can I say? Of course this time they have finally hit the mark. (This news installed a whole new meaning into my head for the word Yahoo-news ) Not only is a pet good for you, and good for your ability to get yourself into perspective, (nothing will make clear to you your insignificance in the universe as serving a pet does), pets are a great way to make new friends!
And that, is just só wrong!
Not only do you get to know more people, you might even attract persons of the ”other sex” !!!!!

So especially for those unlucky people stuck in a place where pets are going to be forbidden, here is a crash course in how to use pets for maximum result.
According to ”Arab news” its allready too late: the ban is in place.

Why does the ”Pet-Thing” work? Apparently humans, and other animals, are programmed to go all ”Aaaaahhhhh, Cuuuute” when confronted by small fluffy little cute harmless somethings looking into our eyes.
So use that programming and get your pet home before it’s too late!
And of course for everybody else bend on some really scintillating, steaming, hot, sexy, romantic encounters: Read This!

Choosing your pet

I cannot stress the importance of this! Your succes will stand or fall by the choice of pet. While it is true that, for example, a giant tarantula,
is both unusual and will definitely attract attention,
It may not be quite what you had in mind, and will in all probability not attract the mate of your choice….

When it comes to acquiring that mate-attracting-pet there are three rules to keep in mind:

  • small
  • cuddly/hairy/feathery
  • sweet chirruppy noises

Of course the most suitable pet for mega-caress-ability-coefficient-efficiency is the Tribble, hard to resist even by a cold-blooded half-Vulcan like mr Spock:

But it’s hard to get one on earth. The closest relative to the Tribble on this planet, is the Fluffy Rabbit.

If you want to have a more predatory pet, I’d look for:
Cuddly Dog

Or Cute Kitten:

When you’ve chosen your pet, take it out! Be seen with it! Make sure to take a lot of time and effort looking after it, grooming it, and gaining it’s affection. It is vitally important that your pet loves you as no other. Otherwise you will fall into two important snags: 1- your aimed at lovely will only mind your pet and not see you at all!
Or: 2- Your pet will choose to switch personnel owner and decide to move into somebody else’s leaving you at the doorstep.
Never forget: the goal is: when noticing how the cute pet has only eyes for you: the lovely of your choice, will also start to look at you!
And, because your pet loves you: you must be really something, and he/she will start his/her first glance in a very positive way!
If you are really lucky they may decide to want to divert your attention from your pet to themselves!

In that case I’d order the wedding-cake: Succes is assured!!!

I hope to have cleared some misunderstandings about Pet-use-for-mating, and I want to finish, with myself as an example. While fully supplied and occupied by several pets of my own, I still have a Serious Crush on my beloved, and adored Checkers!

And that’s only per internet! Just to show how effective a well-chosen pet can be!





a good caption anyone?

21 04 2008

Zora is of course a German lady, here in Arab disguise

Best ones so far:

“Does my nose look big in this niqab?”

”Dog revealed to be member of ninja sect!”





Lofter sent me a little something

26 03 2008

So, Lofter was going to send me something little, allright, I thought a nice postcard or something. Or a bottle of the local beer. Or a Mc Doubtful hamburger. (as we know it wouldn’t go off on the long journey) Or some brown foundation garment. Or a book on how to train your attack-cat.

No! It just arrived and is this Supercallifragillisticexpealidocious miniature saddle!

A bit too small for The Tarq, but I know who does fit it!!!!

It’s perfect in all details: double hanging-D rigging, saddlestrings, leather-covered stirrups, tiny string-cincha, flank-cincha, latigos, even the hobblestraps above the stirrups! Perfect!!! Even it’s construction is real handmade saddler-stuff!!! I can use it when I give clinics on saddles, but cannot take all the big stuff!.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! LOFTER!!!!

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But Lofter, this is not really a little something!

The Tarq under the new saddle.

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I don’t know, I think it’s not really a perfect fit. I think the back of the saddle is coming up a bit.

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Tagged: Pug Bowl 2008

19 03 2008

Tasmaniac tagged me. Something to do with pets in bowls. The Tarq may be a bit more of a challenge.

So here’s Zora in a Bowl (sort of)

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Rabhar,History and Arabian adventures 3

13 03 2008

A pilgrimage to Nejd 1

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During the summer of 1878 the Blunts lived in England, but December found them back in Damascus. This time they planned to travel all the way to the Nejd. They went as far south as Haïl. They did not buy any horses on this trip, I’m just including it because I’m so fond of exciting travel stories. They later realised that they made a big mistake in not buying horses this trip. This was before Lady Anne had begun the enormous amount of research that she was to carry out on Arabian horse-breeding. So by this time the Blunts had not aquired the amount of knowledge they later posessed.

The horses they had been most looking forward to seeing were those of the Emir Mohammed ibn Rashid, at Haïl. Sixteen years before, the centre of power of that part of Arabia had been with Feysul ibn Saoud at Riad. According to Blunt, Feysul’s stud had probably been the finest in the country and he doubted wether any collection could now be found of equal merit. Feysul had assembled his stud from all the tribes in Arabia, especially from the Muteyr, Beni Khaled, Shammar and Anazeh. His emissaries had been on the constant lookout for mares and had even, so the Blunts were told, mounted raids with no other object than to obtain a particular animal of a particular strain. But since then the leadership of central Arabia had passed into the hands of Mohammed ibn Rashid’s predecessors and it was these horses the Blunts were eager to inspect.

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Lady Ann’s diary, December 11th, 1878

This was a day of tremendously hard work walking about all day long in the bazaars, buying provisions etc. Wilfrid and Mohammed in one direction, ans I in another with Mohammed’s cousin Abdallah, and Hanna and Ibrahim and Awad all carrying the various articles bought.

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December 13th

We start at 8½. We go outside the town and past the gate where St. Paul entered and on, still outside, to the Derb el Haj.

The view of Mezerib is really lovely. There is a village on an island in the middle of a small lake which is always, they say, full of water, even in summer. It certainly is brimful now and there has been no rain for a long while. We saw an immense flock of sand-grouse today, some came right over our head and we each fired a double shot. Six fell and I hope at least one was my bird. These birds made us a good dinner. The mares were very tired tonight, both of them. The bay is certainly a good galloper, and has also a very fast walk. But will never be worth sending home.

December 16th

I have been busy all the afternoon altering the stuffing of Wilfrid’s saddle. It was chosen and packed at Crabbet, and it turns out to need restuffing. A most annoying surprise to me.

Brought two more camels as have to carry forage. Aamar has brought the slouguy Shiekheh or Shikheh, a pretty little fawn coloured dog. She is rather afraid of everybody here but has eaten a large dinner of dates and bread and I have made her a coat of red baize lined with coarse soft canvas, the only bits of stuff we had at hand.

december 27th

We rode our mares till about ten o’ clock when in making our usual change to riding our deluls [riding camels], I came to grief. My delul, always somewhat restive, made a sudden spring taking Abdallah and Awad unawares, and me too. I have injured my knee and could not get up unto the camel, and had to go on riding the mare, scrambling with difficulty into my saddle. I think to have been awkward and a fool is worse than the pain though that is bad enough.

December 29th

We saw a great many locusts and Abdallah and Ibrahim Halebi caught some by Wilfrid’s desire. Even Wilfrid being very cold and hungry got down from his mare and joined in the pursuit. They are not easy to catch and I think Abdallah succeded best. They are to be fried for dinner. We dined on beef tea, burghul and the fried locusts, which I at least tasted but don’t like much. Wilfrid considered them good.

January 3rd 1879

We have had a narrow escape from a very disagreeable adventure and Wilfrid has had his wish of seeing a real ghazu [raid] and also the proof that Mohammed and Abdallah are quite right to beg him to always remain with the camels.

We were getting across Wady Sirhan to go to the Hamad road to Jof, shorter, but with no water. At one oçlock Wilfrid proposed we should get off and sit by a ghataha bush to eat our midday mouthful. We had done so and the camels had passed us by a few minutes only when Wilfrid hearing footsteps of some kind jumped up saying: ”What is this?” I thought for a moment it was the dogs coursing a harebut he said ”Get on your mare, this is a ghazu [raid]” and within 100 yards we saw horsemen charging at full gallop. He was up in a moment, but as I tried to mount the sand and my sprained knee both gave way and I fell back _ the ghazu arriving seized our mares. I was knocked down by a spear in the scuffle and did not see what Wilfrid was doing. One Khayal [horseman] shouting ”el Ledum, el Ledum” snatched at my kefiyeh [cotton headdress] as I scrambled to my feet but in snatching it left the second kefiyeh. Then I saw Wilfrid surrounded by four or five khayal calling at him to dismount. I did not hear till afterwards that they had hit him on the head three times with the butt of my gun which he had in his hand and thrust at him with their spears. If it had not been for me he would have been away all right and I hated and was furious with myself for being helplessly lame. The khayal having got both mares, for Wilfrid of course did dismount being overpowered by numbers, began to ask who we were. I called out to them to go to the camels (that they might speak to Mohammed) and one went on _ it was not far. Oh, if I had only been able to get on my mare we should not have galloped on and [?] the ghazu very differently _ in fact they would not have attacked us at all!

We saw, as we walked towards the camels, Mohammed coming to meet us. He said, it is all right, these are Roala. When they approached the caravan Mohammed said ”Mahu lazim”, they should come. They said ”we are friends”. He said ”min entum” ”Roala”, ”Wallah?” ”Wallah” ”Minente?” ”Mohammed ibn Aruk” _ they knew who he was and that he had brotherhood with some of the ibn Shaalan so the khayal immediately began to call the others to bring back the mares and to lament Mohammed having been with us. Mohammed explained that he was with a brother _ ”how could you have been with him, what a pity, we should have got the nice mares”, was the reply. At once the ghazu (there was only a dozen of them) sat down with their spears stuck in the ground and talked while we gave them dates to eat and they fetched back every article they had taken; the gun and my revolvercase (which had been dropped) and my kefiyeh and breastplate.

As for the gun, it was broken and I cannot understand hoe Wilfrid was not hurt, but he said the aghal saved his head and the spears did not pierce his thick coat.

All this was over and the khayal gone and we on the march again, wiser and sadder by half past one _ in half an hour. These Roala are an outlying tribe. The ghazu were khayal who came to look out for camping ground by the wells. They saw our tracks and followed us. Had we been with our camels all would have been well or had I not been lame, we should have been safe.

Wilfrid thinks it is interesting to see the real thing, and to have actually been taken. I cannot but regret the few unpleasant moments. However this adventure proofs the truth of Bedouin accounts of Bedouin rules of war.

To be continued

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Zora

1 03 2008

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Zora, from the Arabic Zahra = Radiant.

Zora is my killer-attack-dog, my 80 pounds of fur-covered razorblades!

Zora is the reason I can walk safely across the street at night.

Zora is also the reason I wander the streets at night, completely alone, and sick of worry because madam has decided to go ”investigating”. She was found on the railway-station by the police who called me on my mobile. She behaved very cute and the police were quite taken with her.

Zora likes to follow me around everywhere until it drives you nuts! Then you go away for a weekend, leaving Zora in the care of a friend, and are very relieved to be able to walk around for the weekend without stumbling over a dog every 10 minutes, only to discover that you feel very un-dogged and un-happy.

Zora needs to be cuddled every two hours. If you don’t remember she will help you remember.

Zora knows when I get up to go away, and immediately sits in front of the door with the cutest imploring look, which makes me take her even if I didn’t want too.

Zora is very nice to children and little dogs and cats.

Zora likes to jump into ditches with awful, black, stinking mud.

Zora drops enough woolly hairs every month to fill a quilt.

Zora is 99% a sheep in wolves-clothing. But beware of the 1%! I have seen her in attack-mode once, and it is scary!!! But very comforting to know that she has it in her!

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