2 days to go and I am missing a great opportunity

20 05 2011

Now it seems that really clever Atheists  are making really big bucks off this rapture-thing.
Why didn’t I think of that?

Raptor Countdown (2011 version) 4 days to go!

17 05 2011

Four days until we get Raptored!

But does one really want to?????

So Jesus went extinct for our sins…
So our sins are ”paid for”. So why all the punishment?
Are our sins paid for or not? Or did Jesus go extinct for nothing?
What’s up?
On May 21 we might find out…

Of course ”evolutionists” are out. Whatever. Even if their sins were paid for…

Rapture Countdown (2011 version). 5 Days to go!

16 05 2011

If you were wondering when the actual end of the world is, this is set for October 17 2011. Which leaves enough time for this year’s, final, Wacken Heavy Metal Festival.
And I read on one of the many rapture sites that all plants and animals will burn and be destroyed and turned into ash. That is só unfair!
I am wondering if I really want to be saved, because I an starting to think that God is a really nasty  dude.

So here’s my diary so far:

Monday 16

Peducure for horses, find job
Make more lists
Work on painting

Tuesday 17

Clean house dig up my bible and start reading. Go to the market to buy fruit and vegetables

Wednesday 18

Keep reading the bible and start making a pattern for a fifties style dress. (which I will need to ascend to heaven in)
Take painting to the framers
Visit the Tarq

Thursday 19

Make appointment at hairdressers for Friday, start making 50s style dress.
Train the Tarq and try to make him behave well.
Learn how to knit.

friday 20

Preparations: Laundry, housecleaning, loo has to be spotless.
go to the Tarq and wash the Tarq
Go to hairdresser for that rapture look hairdo.
Hide all flying-brooms in cupboard, as well as all wicca handbooks.

Saturday 21

Check list, dress up in 50s dress, hair perfect, sit and wait.

The End of the World! (2011 version)

15 05 2011

For those who have missed it, the end of the world is nigh.
This year God has planned the rapture for May 21.
The rapture is something that will happen before hand. Jesus will come back, those who will be saved will be lifted up from the Earth, and those who won’t be saved will be left to be tortured until we (yes, I think I will be one of them) beg for death.
Because God loves us.

I looked into my diary and noticed I have made an appointment to go riding with my friends and our horses on the 22nd. How silly of me! Of course we will be there but surely our horses will be lifted off the Earth, cute, innocent and adorable creatures that they are.
So I propose a barbecue. I suppose what with all the fire and brimstone we can expect a barbecue should be a sure success. And yes, there will be pork meat, but if you are Muslim and you can go to my barbecue you already know you are not among the chosen ones so can have as much pork as you like.

Here’s a good site to check out all the details of the upcoming slaughter. I wasn’t quite sure weather they were being funny or if they really meant it. I often get it wrong. However, it seems they really mean it and it will provide you with all the important details.

I think I will be starting a countdown until next week.

You are all welcome on the 22nd!

As this picture proves you will have to be white, Christian, and I strongly suggest you visit the hairdresser on Friday, to qualify for ascending to heaven. The angels are also white and have really neat hairdos. It seems very important to be married, and to have two or more children.

A new summer is coming!

28 04 2011

I spend the whole Easter holiday cleaning up the garden! With some excursions to my horse of course. And two trips to get some plants. And as we had very unusually nice weather I invited my riding buddy M for the first bar-b-que of the year. And my neighbor N dropped in for dessert!

Let’s start with the flowers I got from the Q!

Zora and Sim. Sim loves Zora. Zora does not love Sim. Zora pretends that there is no cat. There is no cat. There is no cat.

The garden looks very bare now all the leaves, branches and weeds have been cleared away. Last week you couldn’t see the path even! At the back is my garden studio, Not cleaned yet. The blue Ikea bag is brilliant for taking stuff out of my garden and through my house to put into the garbage bin in front of my house.

The doorway to my neighbors garden, Zora destroyed the trellis door last year, I have to make a new one.

Herbs for cooking

I have the cutest little barbeque!

The food

Evening fell and it was still warm enough to sit outside.

Teach the controversy

26 04 2011

Long ago, Frith made the world

The alternative explanation

25 04 2011

I have been thinking, and worrying, about the serious and deadly tsunamis which are punishing humanity lately. It is high time we do something about these tsunamis and make them stop. Now many religious leaders have the right idea and blame our irreligious ways, gay marriage, people having sex, and the rise of atheism. But I see a controversy here: they don’t have it quite right.

You see, while there maybe people having sex, and gay people, and scientists, and atheists all over the place, so are religious weirdos, religious fundamentalists, suicide killers, etc. There’s Al qaida, the tea-baggers, the creationists, and they are all doing well! Amassing huge fortunes, indoctrinating scores of children, these people are working very hard and are quite successful!
Yet it clearly is not enough.
Because they have it wrong! All thse people pray to the monotheistic desert god first invented by the Jews, later appropriated by the Christians, and Muslims, who then, although they all worship the same god, still think they have to kill each other.

Ok, so all this religious  insanity we see around these days doesn’t seem to have enough effect to stop or even decrease the severity of the tsunamis. The truth is, (as proven by what’s happening) that they are all praying to the wrong god.
The correct god to pray to if you are worried about tsunamis is: Poseidon

I mean, look at this noble face, the beard, the intelligent forehead. You can see how the later religions derived their idea of how god looks after Poseidon’s image. But they left his worship, and now we are being punished!

And so Poseidon is woefully neglected nowadays. Not only that, as far as I know he never even had temples build in Japan or the far east. No wonder these places are the first to get hit!

We need to re-asses our religious believes and pray to those gods that actually have an official task. Wodan or Zeus when it comes to thunder and lightning, Poseidon to stop tsunamis, etc.

Take heed of the controversy! Churches and temples and mosques should be teaching the controversy!

Morality and Meteorology

27 02 2011

I don’t get the connection between Morality and Meteorology Religious leaders are so fond of.
Earthquakes are caused by women showing cleavage, according to an iranian religious Muslim scholar.
According to an American Christian religous nutter leader he flooding of New Orleans was caused by gay people being gay, and I suppose by inference the fact that so many people tolerate the existence of gays, without slaughtering them as God wants us to…
The flooding of England’s North Yorkshire was also caused by the existence of gays according to a bishop of the English Anglican church…
The great tsunami of 2004 was of course appropriated by all religious leaders of all religions as punishment for whatever their personal preference in sin.

Now, I think that God is making a mistake here, for one thing it seems a bit bizarre that God has problems with his own creation, eg gays and cleavages, for the other his aim seems to be lamentably off for a supernatural all powerfull being…
Or, if his meteorological aim is true, God seems to be, not only very unfair, but also wholly inadequate. Human nature being what it is (as created by God), I think I speak the truth if I say that the hussies who display their cleavages on the beaches of France and Spain, or the nightclubs in Amsterdam, not only would not stop their evil immoral displays because of Earthquakes in Iran, but I am sure they don’t even know about it!
Same goes for those people who indulge in loving relationships to those people God has given them a sexual preference for.

In truth, all logical conclusions seem to lead to only one fact: meteorology has nothing to do with morality has nothing to do with some allmighty supernatural being who cannot aim.
Which leads to the conclusion that religious leaders are mentally deficient.
Which leads to the obvious conclusion that sane, normal, intelligent people should become very weary as soon as somebody proclaims themselves a religious authority.
If that wasn’t obvious before I even started this post…

Wild Knitting

16 02 2011

Literal translation of the Dutch ”Wild Breien” is some brilliant new deviancy little I taught me about today…

It is a form of street art, non-invasive and non-destructive graffiti. It’s also name ”knit-graffitti” or ”yarn bombing”. It was invented in 2005, in Houston Texas and has spread all over the world.

The lovely Amsterdam Zoo, Artis, has been completely transformed by a huge Wild knitting effort. Maybe I will manage to go there tomorrow!

I am now determined to learn how to knit!

Check this ROCK!

7 02 2011